For those of you who don’t speak French, the name of this blog, C’est Ma Vie, means That’s My Life. Despite the fact that I have not written for my faithful readers (mom, dad, dog) in months, I have actually been doing some decently cool things with my life - One being kickboxing, which I find fantastically awesome and fun. Basically, I run around kicking, punching, and lifting for an hour and then feel like total shit for a few days after. Just when I’m able to sit, stand, sleep, and walk without any hint of pain, it’s time for another session with Ryer.
Here are some helpful tips for the kickboxers in you:
It really helps to picture the boxing bag as someone you don’t particularly like or care for. This is an easy way to maximize the intensity of your workout, while minimizing the monotony of punching a giant bean bag on crack for what feels like a lifetime. For full disclosure, for me this is typically a guy. Before you go questioning my sanity in this regard, don’t worry, I normally picture someone I don’t actually know…like Alexander Ovechkin or Tom Brady. But to be honest, punching a dude you don’t like never gets old… Disclaimer: The phrase “let’s take this outside” does not apply here. Just because you feel fulfilled punching a fake person in fantasy kickboxing land, it does not mean you can go punch that person in real life. Additionally, guys – I would not suggest turning your kickboxing supremacy into punching an imaginary girl, because even if she’s fake, that’s not cool. Sorry that the double standards of the world are just so cruel…Life isn’t fair.
Okay…this tip is a little more “sane.” Pick someone in the class and try to beat them at every exercise. I’m a highly competitive person where sports are concerned so competing with myself just doesn’t do it for me.
If you ever find yourself being forced to do crunches in a puddle of someone else’s sweat the best way to avoid it is to….. Okay! I have no answers for this one. It happened to me last night and it was gross.
Ladies, just embrace the pink boxing gloves because women’s gloves apparently don’t exist in any color but pink.
Don't eat for like 3 hours before class. Just don't do it... I've heard stories!
So for any Pittsburghers interested in taking up some martial arts, check out the Ryer Martial Arts Academy in Shadyside (http://www.ryeracademy.com/) It’s a really cool place right on Center Ave above a pizza/fried chicken restaurant whose smell makes me wanna barf after every class. I’m going to start parking next to the Subway instead…
The absurdity of this video made it absolutely necessary for me to share. It's embarrassing and ridiculous. I do hope, however, that Alex Ovechkin really does eat Penguins for breakfast. That would just be awesome!
So Rock the Red, Washington! I'll sit back and watch while you flounder in the playoffs year after year. And in the meantime, think about how much Sidney Crosby cried when he won the Stanley Cup...
Helllllo again readers, aka Mom, Dad… I know it’s been a while, but despite unemployment for the greater part of my absence, I managed to carry on a fairly busy life in limbo. With this said, I’ve decided it’s time to get back on track, and the best way I can think of to accomplish this is to reflect back on the past 3 months with a Top 10 List of “Things I Wish I had Blogged About.”
1. "Things I Will Miss About DC" Finale You’re glad you missed this one. It would have inevitably been a long and drawn out sob sounding depiction of the great times I had in DC with my amazing friends. You know- the sappy, sentimental “my friends are better than yours” speech. Of course, my DC friends ARE awesome and I DO miss them terribly, but I have no doubt they would have even vomited uncontrollably after reading the blog entry that would have spewed their frenzied and bizarre praises for at least 3 paragraphs too long.
2. Move to Pittsburgh –
What can I say…My actual physical move from DC to Pittsburgh wasn’t all that exciting. I took several pictures of my car hooked onto the back of a U-Haul and several more of the Shamrock plant I secured on the dashboard. I had intended on telling a witty, little story about the longgg and treacherous journey my plant underwent as it traveled past the Mason Dixon Line, through the Appalachian Mountains, and over the Monongahela River. You know...sensationalizing the 6 hour U-Haul trip that typically would have only been a 4 hour car ride.
3. Italy I discovered a few very important things while traveling throughout Italy (which, by the way, is an incredible country in way too many ways to mention). 1- I’m pretty sure the love of my life works at a trattoria in Florence. I don’t know his name, but our eyes met and it was categorically and absolutely Love. There is certainly something to be said for ephemeral moments. 2- I am guaranteed a spot in heaven after visiting no less than 1 million churches, chapels, basilicas, and cathedrals before even stepping foot in Vatican City. 3- With the beauty of each location comes a new addition to the infamous “Lost Items List.” Note: Pittsburgh International Airport keeps their lost and found inventory for 60 days.
4. Steelers-Vikings Game/My Birthday!!!
The Pittsburgh Steelers have celebrated a few highs and suffered through several more (very low) lows throughout the 2009 NFL Season. In my opinion, the best game of the year was the Steelers-Vikings game on October 25th (and I was there!). Of course, this being my birthday, it was already a pretty fine day in and of itself, but adding a Steelers' Victory against Brett Favre (of all people!) and the Minnesota Vikings made it near the top of my 2009 moments. It wasn’t just the win (and ability to mock Brett Favre in person) that made this day ideal; Katey Clark is THE best person to attend a Pittsburgh sporting event with, the weather was impeccable, and my hangover subsided upon entry to Heinz Field. The beauty of Keyaron Fox's game winning interception even made getting pummeled (quite literally) by self-tackling and tumbling yinzers exciting. Naturally, the 70 year old men in the row in front of us may beg to differ…
It’s also interesting to note that this game raked in the highest attendance in Heinz Field history. Nice lil' tidbit for y'all! (yinz??)
5. Implosion of the Pittsburgh Steelers
The season low was most likely the Steelers’ loss to the Cleveland Browns (though we had a few to choose from). Having been raised in the Burgh, I was brought up to despise the Browns. As a result of their pitiful circumstances for the greater part of my football watching life, however, they have ironically become the ONLY team in the AFC North that I don’t hate. With this said, I have feared a loss to them on only a few very rare occasions...One of these junctures taking place on December 10, 2009, when the defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers fell to the then 1 and 11 Cleveland Browns (13-6).
6. I LOVE HOCKEY I don't think it's necessary to expand on this point. Sometimes less is more...
(For the Record: Yes, Fleury did block the shot on the right. He is a god.)
7. Life in Pittsburgh
Life in Pittsburgh is great! Basically, I hangout with friends and drink beer. From time to time, I'll hit up a museum or go for a run, but for the most part you can find me in front of a TV watching hockey, football, or really bad tv shows about vampires. Apparently... my life hasn't changed at all.
8. The Glories of Unemployment
Sleeping all day, staying up all night, ignoring your bank account balance while spending money you don't have on lavish things (booze) you don't need(yes, I need booze!). Ignorance is bliss! Sadly though, all good things must come to an end. Now I have a job and am starting grad school- sleeping all day is a thing of the past...But the whole ignoring your bank account technique is still working out quite well for me (errrr).
9. Being an Adult I find that for the most part being a "grown-up" kind of sucks (mostly sucks), but it does have its occasional perks.... For one, you can eat ice cream for dinner any time you want, and no one can tell you otherwise. Same goes for popcorn. Also, you can do all the things that you thought you were too cool to do as a teenager...like, sled riding, dancing to Phil Collins, and eating peanut butter. Of course there are several other more obvious benefits of "legality", but these are undoubtedly amongst the best.
10. Top 10 Lists I should never commit to doing a “Top 10 List” because I can never think of a tenth item for the list…hmmm Ah well… Thanks for reading this far!
Sorry to my two, maybe three readers for going m.i.a. recently. It’s been a busy week for me; finishing up work, packing, moving, pretending to unpack, looking at all my shit, thinking about unpacking, wishing I didn’t have to unpack, moving boxes around in hopes that they will eventually unpack themselves…you know the drill. It’s hard work and such a brainless and mind numbing activity that I’m not sure I will be equipped to write anything worth reading for at least a few weeks. The good news is that I leave for Italy in the morning; so hopefully, the brain cells I’ve neglected in the past week will be sufficiently reinvigorated…that is, unless the much anticipated consumption of copious amounts of wine finishes them off. Il vino mi piace! (The latter being the more likely of the two possible results.) For those of you who wish you could fit into my suitcase, or if you actually have any interest in my travels, I will be flying into Milano, continuing onto Cinque Terre (beach!!). We will then spend some time in Florence, Tuscany and the Chianti region and will finish in Roma! I foresee having many humorous antic-dotes from my travels...and hell, if I don't, I'll make some up; so expect some updates upon my return (that is if I even make it back to the States...maybe I'll just stay. I am unemployed after all...)
Now for your listening pleasure I bring you Senor Renato Carosone...
This will be a short (yet personally satisfying) post...I simply want to declare to the blogisphere (and to all the great people out there who listened to be bitch about my crappy job for more time than I'd like to admit) that I am now OFFICIALLY unemployed! When 5 pm rolled along, I could hardly contain my excitement, and 5:31 never looked so sweet! My coworkers, who I must say are very awesome, did give me a great send off on Wednesday; consisting of a company sponsored happy hour. Naturally, I am always very appreciative of free booze, but I have to admit that I'm fairly certain, no, entirely, 100% certain, that the moment I walked out the door was the happiest moment in my professional life! I realize that soon the bank account will run dry, and the consequences of my actions will become perfectly clear, but, at this moment, unemployment feels splendid! How will I celebrate? Ice cream for dinner and booze for dessert! Oh happy day!
So I'm not gonna lie....this particular posting is most definitely a procrastination technique. It's currently 11:39 PM, and tomorrow is my last day at work!! (yessssssss!!!!) As you would expect, it just wouldn't be right if my job didn't suck until the very bitter end, so I should be doing work right now. (If you can call plugging meaningless numbers into a spreadsheet that will most likely sit on a share drive and never be looked at again "work." Or maybe that is the DEFINITION of "work.") As I'm sure you've noticed, the news has been quite interesting and incraziable lately, so I am going to take a moment to share my thoughts on a few particularly fascinating happenings around the world. I feel this will undoubtedly benefit my brain significantly more than the useless data inputting I should be doing. (Yes, I made "incraziable" up- great word, right?)
1 - G20 Summit in Pittsburgh Obviously, I have to comment on this...Being from Pittsburgh and all. I think it's pretty cool that it's taking place in my hometown and soon-to-be residing city, but I must admit it is kind of bizarre to keep hearing & seeing Pittsburgh all over the news. Also, watching the news footage has been a little unnerving. If I didn't know better, I would think it was coverage of riots in the Middle East or something. I hear most of the protests are pretty legit and peaceful. My dad actually spent last night and today handing out food to the protesters, which I think is pretty rad. It does seem, though, that there are definitely a few too many crazies out there - shattering store windows, throwing dead animals, and eating babies and stuff. (okay...maybe there hasn't been any baby eating...yet...but my point stands.) I understand why people are protesting corporations and the American banking system, but I tend to believe (more or less) that radical, destructive behavior isn't likely to help anyone's cause or help affect any kind of beneficial change. Simply put, vandalism in the City of Champions. Not cool! Where's Mean Joe Greene when you need him? Also - Throwing dead animals? Isn't this supposed to be about global economics? But at any rate, I hope all my people in the Burgh are safe and sound and aren't trapped at work or school or the Liberty Tubes or anything. And if you are, by God I pray you make it at least as far as the nearest bar. Cheers!
2 - Mackenzie Phillips had Sex with her Dad...A Lot WHAT.THE.FUCKING.FUCK!
3 - Plaxico Burress - 2 Years for Wearing Sweat Pants to a Night Club Seriously...2 years? Poor guy! As I'm sure you've noticed from my previous rants, I am quite the liberal, and I'm all for gun control, but I think 2 years is a little excessive. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he should have gotten off scotch free, but I think he got hit pretty hard; especially when considering he plead guilty to a lesser charge rather than going to trial. I also find it hard to believe that he's serving more time than Michael Vick AND Donte Stallworth, who got a DUI and killed someone in the process. I'm thinking shooting himself in the leg probably sucked quite a bit, too. (Note: I didn't even mention Ray Lewis or OJ Simpson. Oops! I just did...)
4 - Glenn Beck Boils Frogs in Failed MetaphorAttempt FOX News, you never cease to shock and horrify me. In an attempt to demonstrate a metaphor about...something stupid, Glenn Beck apparently boiled some frogs. The concept was that they were supposed to leap out of the boiling water. Now, I don't know if he ACTUALLY boiled real, living frogs, and I certainly hope he didn't, but seriously can you think of anything more ridiculous? I thiiiink this was Mr. Beck's way of inspiring his people to rise up against... ummm... fascism..orrr..communism...uhh...Health Care??? No idea... But I'm pretty sure that the frogs in the metophor represent the American People. Sooo, Glenn Beck metaphorically killed the American People?? That's just awesomely funny! OH! And apparently he slow boiled John McCain, too. What the hell? He's a war hero, damnit!
Theory: FOX News - An experiment created and maintained by the United States government to gauge how much false information can be fed to the American People before a major percentage of the population's brains shrivel to the size of raisins.
5 - (sorry! downer alert) Human Resources VP Beaten to Death in India After laying off 42 people at an auto parts company in India, an HR VP was beaten to death by a mob. This is just sad. It reminds me of how desperate the economic situation is across the world and how good we actually still have it in the US.
Oh hell! It's 1:11 AM...I guess I should do some work. Fuck! Sooo that's all for the evening, kids. As always, I hope you found something mildly entertaining and insightful.
Try asking people why they hate the Steelers. Never a good response. At least I can say I hate the Patriots because they're cheaters, and I hate the Ravens because they've killed people...hate the Steelers...why? Because they win.
