It's Cinco de Mayo! Aren't you excited?! Ahh how I love celebrating the defeat of French troops...errrr...uhhh...yeah. Ce n'est pas exactement de vérité...Maybe that's not always a good thing. But YAY MEXICO! As we all know, here in America we will gladly and even fervently celebrate anyone else's history as long as it gives us an excuse to drink - Oktoberfest, St. Patrick's Day, Bastille Day, in extreme cases Swedish and Belgian Independence Days, and of course Cinco de Mayo! I've had quite a few fantastically irresponsible Cinco de Mayos in my past, and while I fear I may now be too old to properly celebrate a bunch of rag tag Mexican's fighting off the French Army at the Battle of Puebla, I would like to insure someone out there properly observes the holiday, so here are some delicious drinks and places around Pittsburgh to celebrate:
Tequila Shot
• My favorite! My best advice would be to make sure to get it chilled, but the lime and salt are up to you.
The Prickly Margarita
• 2 ounces Cabo Wabo Anejo
• 1/2 ounce agave nectar
• 1 ounce fresh lime juice
• 1/2 ounce prickly pear puree
• 1 medium jalapeno slice
• 1/4 ounce Amaretto
• 1 lime wheel
Place all the ingredients, except Amaretto in a shaker, muddle Jalapeño, add ice, and shake vigorously. Strain over fresh ice into a rocks glass, float Amaretto on top, garnish with a lime wheel, and serve. Makes 1 serving.
Tequila Sunset
• 1 1/2 ounces Cabo Wabo Blanco
• 1 ounce pomegranate juice
• 1/2 ounce Framboise Liqueur
• 3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice
• 1/2 ounce agave nectar
• 3 ounce soda water
• Lemon twist
Place the tequila, lemon juice and agave nectar in a shaker with ice, shake vigorously and strain over fresh ice into a Collins glass. Stir in the soda water, and top with Framboise and Pomegranate. Mix into the drink and serve with a lemon twist. Makes 1 serving.
Places to Go:
Cocina Mendoza (Mt. Lebanon Blvd. in Castle Shannon) - Authentic Mexican food from Acupulco, so when you're eating it, it's almost like you're at the beach. Make sure to use your sunscreen!
MadmexThere are lots of them around - Oakland, Scott Township, State College - whichever one you choose, have 7 big ass margaritas...you won't feel like a human again until next May 5th, but you will certainly make today worth while.
La Fiesta Restaurant (Atwood St. in Oakland.) - Live music. Try not to trip over drunk college students on your way out the door.
Cozumel (Liberty Ave. Downtown) and Mexico City (Wood St. Downtown) - Both are good for the after work crowd. 9-5ers have gotta imbibe too!
Jose and Tony's (McFarland Road)- There aren't many things better than this Mt. Lebanon/Dormont establishment. Stop by for a Dos Equis Mexican Cervesa (con queso!)
The Southside- Where everybody knows your namewasted face...
Since I announced my intentions to sport a Playoff Beard a few weeks ago, I've noticed quite the trend in the Burgh....classy ladies everywhere choosing to support their team with facial hair (unlike our Philadelphia counterparts who have no choice). Props to all the FemBeards out there!
To the right we've got a hip female friend spotted at Game 1 against the Montreal Canadiens. She's representin' her very best island dreadbeard. If you're lucky, you might be able to catch her in Oakland or Shadyside. Truly a sight to be seen.
Another one of my favorites...the ever so trendy beaded beard look with carefully placed black, white, and gold flare. Great for the beach or Mt. Washington where you can find this lovely Burgh babe.
Gender Reassignment was part of the deal with Goodell...
Oh wait, this is just a picture of the New England Patriot's Bill Belichick! Who wears short shorts?
Don't forget to check out the NHL Beard-A-Thon website. In addition to the Philadelphia City Jail and the Ovechkin for President Campaign, you've got lots of great organizations to donate to. In fact, I just found out that all Chicago proceeds are going to the Marian Hossa Stanley Cup Fund.
I could never be a journalist for the one main reason: I am for the most part completely incapable of retaining an unbiased opinion. I can write at a 5-8th grade level, give the “whos, whats, wheres, whens and hows”, and could most likely even dig up a decent story or two, but when it comes to most subjects people care about, I am completely incapable of hiding my bias. Now, I’m sure that those of you who know me (even just a little) think you know exactly where I’m going with this point, but much to all of your surprise I’m not going to sit here and talk about the Capital’s first round choking act (though, my first draft of this blog post went on and on about it for at least a good couple hours). Since I’ve already done my “I said so”s on that matter (which…I did…say so), I’m just going to go ahead and talk about how excited I am for the Pens vs. Canadiens series.
Not only do I have a thing for good hockey, but I also have a thing for French Canadians, so, between the two teams, I might just lose my mind. Le Club de Hockey Canadienhas one of the richest histories in hockey, and Rocket Richard is one of my all time favorite players, so I’m always eager for a first-rate Canadiens-Pens series. Do I think the Pens will win? Yes, but it’s not going to be easy by any means. If Jaroslav Halak continues to do his best Patrick Roy imitation and the Habs keep up their defense, then the Pens will certainly have their work cut out for them. The difference could just be in the Pens third line. As in…they have one. Jordan, it’s all riding on you! Pens in 6
On a side note: Congratulations to Sidney Crosby for being named one of the three Hart Trophy Finalists. Fittingly, Alex Ovechkin (Washington) and Henrik Sedin (Vancouver) were also both announced as finalists. The pessimist/realist in me says Ovi will probably win again...because the Caps don't exist without him, and disappearing in post-season and Olympics has no impact on the award. Sid's got great chances though!
I’ll be at the game tomorrow night so look for me...I'll be the one wearing white. Allez les Penguins!!! Les Habitants, peut-être je vous encourageais hièr soir, mais je ne ferai pas la même demain...certainement pas! LET’S GO PENS!
As a kid, ice cream was always my absolute favorite snack. The instant my cousin and I would walk in the door after school, we would immediately load up on a giant bowl of cookies and cream and race to the TV in an attempt catch the 4PM Ricki Lake Show. (Third grade was a tough year, okay!) Now of course this was a little before the featured stories on childhood obesity, so let's fast forward about 15 years.
Karmic Yogurt is my newest Pittsburgh obsession. After our kickboxing classes, my cousin and I now head over to Filbert Street in Shadyside for our delectably healthy reward. If you've been to places like Mr. Yogato in DC, it's the same concept. Each cup of yogurt is about 90 calories, and it's full of all the good, healthy stuff that 3rd grade Tara would have hated, like probiotics and riboflaven. It's even kosher and gluten free, too! You can get the yogurt in a few different favors: either the creamy or tart Karmic flavor (which is pretty much just frozen, plain yogurt), Pom (pomegranate), or Matcha (green tea). I typically get the tart yogurt with lychee and mango, but there are lots of yummy topping options - even unhealthy ones. I must say though that I can give full credit to Karmic Yogurt for single-handedly creating my new obsession with lychee. So if you ever find yourself in Shadyside try out Karmic Yogurt....because it is scrumptious and delicious and tastes nothing like chicken!
(I hear rumors of one opening in Squirrel Hill, too - reports to come) Click here for more information about the health benefits of Karmic Yogurt.
So this playoff beard thing is getting pretty rigorous. I knew it would be a difficult task, but I had no idea just how annoying it would be. I'm constantly getting food stuck on my face, and the other day I was drinking a beer and walked around with beer fuzz all over m'stash for at least half an hour. There are some benefits however. I was outside in the frigid cold for my cousin's wedding this past weekend, and I'm happy to report that my playoff beard without a doubt helped to cut the the skin to wind ratio significantly. I now understand the various winter beard theories amongst my many male friends. I must say I’m really digging the shape of my beard though. It really accentuates my eyes and definitely contours my face…In some (all) light you can’t even tell it’s there!
And of course the most significant and important benefit of the playoffbeard is the 3-1 series lead that the Pittsburgh Penguins now hold over the Ottawa Senators (all due to my personal efforts). I must admit that I was somewhat skeptical of the Pens playoff successes, but it seems that they have really picked up their game. I mean, let’s be honest, at this point Sidney Crosby could practically win the Cup on his own, but now we’ve got guys like Adams, Kuntiz, and Talbot back in the goal scoring mix. And hell, the Geno and Gonch duo is basically my favorite ever!(Mostly due to the fact that I’m Malkin’s self-declared best friend.)
I would be remiss if I didn’t congratulate Jordan Staal (because he obviously reads my blog). Along with the Red Wings’ Pavel Datsyuk and the Canucks’ Ryan Kesler, Staal was nominated for the Selke Award, which is given to the best defensive forward in the league. My bet’s on Kesler, but a great honor for Staal nonetheless.
Don't forget to visit the NHL Beard-A-Thon website. I’ve just learned that all Washington Capital proceeds are benefiting the Alexander Ovechkin 2020 Presidential Bid...Sarah Palin is anticipated to make a well asserted claim that she is indeed Ovi’s hockey mom - a statement that will be supported by her ability to see Russia from her house.
It’s once again my favorite time of the year in the Burgh…and no, it has nothing to do with yet another Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault accusation, despite the fact that Mr. Roethlisberger seems to be all anyone wants to talk about. By “favorite time of year” I of course mean the NHL Playoffs. Year after year I watch my guy friends grow their awe-inspiring playoff beards, and the best I’ve been able to do to show my team support has been strategic tequila shots and dirty, unwashed jerseys à la 2000 JV softball. (And I’m talking WachoviaCenter dirty!!). So this year, to show my devotion to the Pittsburgh Penguins, I will be growing my very own playoff beard. Overcoming the double X chromosomes won’t be easy, but I think it can be done. In order to make for the optimal beard growing conditions I will be consulting my brother, Sean, beard grower extraordinaire, on effective beard growing techniques. Additionally, my inspiration will come from none other than Pittsburgh Superstar, Maxime Talbot.
In the spirit of the playoff beard, it wouldn't be right if I didn't remember to direct you all to the NHL Beard-A-Thon.
Visit:https://www.beardathon.com/penguins to make donations to the fundraiser - search for your favorite beard or look for a friend's profile. The Penguins' donations are going to the Mario Lemieux Foundation, but God forbid you're unfortunate enough not to be a Pens fan, look for your own team to make a donations to their chosen foundations. (Unless you're a Flyers fan - those donations go to the city jail.)
I hope to have to learn to sustain my beard for for the remainder of the Spring, but in order for that to happen, the Pens have really got to take it up a notch. Regardless, the Western Conference will win the Cup. Just sayin'...
I’ve realized that, no matter how many times I’ve said it myself today, “I’m hoping it’s just allergies and not a cold” has got to be one of the most annoying, nonsensical, and irritating phrases in the English language. If you spend your entire day feeling like total shit, does it really matter whether you have a cold or if the pollen count is just slightly higher than your body can take? Either way, you feel crappy and no drug no legal drug is going to change that. In fact, I have no doubt that the makers of Benadryl and Dayquil spend each March - June aboard nauseatingly colossal yachts, secretly laughing at us all for funding their villas in St. Maarten. With this said, Spring does tend to be a rather confusing time of year. It’s cold season, yet the pollen count is out of control. Naturally, this leads me to wonder if it’s possible that cold germs may have actually joined forces with the pollen kingdom to attack the human race (which coincidently is the subject of James Cameron's next epic blockbuster). If this theory does eventually prove true, it will support my long time belief that I am indeed allergic to EVERYTHING. Now…of course this is TREE pollen I’m talking about. I’m sure that as soon as the tree pollen has sufficiently mutilated my sinuses, the grass variety will be more than happy to take its place – followed by weeds of course, and undoubtedly the flowers will have their way with me as well.
So basically, I’ve spent the greater part of the past few weeks hoping I didn’t have a cold, but suffering through itchy eyes, a sore throat, constant sneezing, inability to breath, and a stuffy nose. I really just want to feel like a human again - cold no cold, allergies no allergies- but either way, don't forget - noses in need deserve Puffs indeed!
(I know you're all relieved I didn't bring up my neti pot...)
For those of you who don’t speak French, the name of this blog, C’est Ma Vie, means That’s My Life. Despite the fact that I have not written for my faithful readers (mom, dad, dog) in months, I have actually been doing some decently cool things with my life - One being kickboxing, which I find fantastically awesome and fun. Basically, I run around kicking, punching, and lifting for an hour and then feel like total shit for a few days after. Just when I’m able to sit, stand, sleep, and walk without any hint of pain, it’s time for another session with Ryer.
Here are some helpful tips for the kickboxers in you:
It really helps to picture the boxing bag as someone you don’t particularly like or care for. This is an easy way to maximize the intensity of your workout, while minimizing the monotony of punching a giant bean bag on crack for what feels like a lifetime. For full disclosure, for me this is typically a guy. Before you go questioning my sanity in this regard, don’t worry, I normally picture someone I don’t actually know…like Alexander Ovechkin or Tom Brady. But to be honest, punching a dude you don’t like never gets old… Disclaimer: The phrase “let’s take this outside” does not apply here. Just because you feel fulfilled punching a fake person in fantasy kickboxing land, it does not mean you can go punch that person in real life. Additionally, guys – I would not suggest turning your kickboxing supremacy into punching an imaginary girl, because even if she’s fake, that’s not cool. Sorry that the double standards of the world are just so cruel…Life isn’t fair.
Okay…this tip is a little more “sane.” Pick someone in the class and try to beat them at every exercise. I’m a highly competitive person where sports are concerned so competing with myself just doesn’t do it for me.
If you ever find yourself being forced to do crunches in a puddle of someone else’s sweat the best way to avoid it is to….. Okay! I have no answers for this one. It happened to me last night and it was gross.
Ladies, just embrace the pink boxing gloves because women’s gloves apparently don’t exist in any color but pink.
Don't eat for like 3 hours before class. Just don't do it... I've heard stories!
So for any Pittsburghers interested in taking up some martial arts, check out the Ryer Martial Arts Academy in Shadyside (http://www.ryeracademy.com/) It’s a really cool place right on Center Ave above a pizza/fried chicken restaurant whose smell makes me wanna barf after every class. I’m going to start parking next to the Subway instead…
The absurdity of this video made it absolutely necessary for me to share. It's embarrassing and ridiculous. I do hope, however, that Alex Ovechkin really does eat Penguins for breakfast. That would just be awesome!
So Rock the Red, Washington! I'll sit back and watch while you flounder in the playoffs year after year. And in the meantime, think about how much Sidney Crosby cried when he won the Stanley Cup...
Helllllo again readers, aka Mom, Dad… I know it’s been a while, but despite unemployment for the greater part of my absence, I managed to carry on a fairly busy life in limbo. With this said, I’ve decided it’s time to get back on track, and the best way I can think of to accomplish this is to reflect back on the past 3 months with a Top 10 List of “Things I Wish I had Blogged About.”
1. "Things I Will Miss About DC" Finale You’re glad you missed this one. It would have inevitably been a long and drawn out sob sounding depiction of the great times I had in DC with my amazing friends. You know- the sappy, sentimental “my friends are better than yours” speech. Of course, my DC friends ARE awesome and I DO miss them terribly, but I have no doubt they would have even vomited uncontrollably after reading the blog entry that would have spewed their frenzied and bizarre praises for at least 3 paragraphs too long.
2. Move to Pittsburgh –
What can I say…My actual physical move from DC to Pittsburgh wasn’t all that exciting. I took several pictures of my car hooked onto the back of a U-Haul and several more of the Shamrock plant I secured on the dashboard. I had intended on telling a witty, little story about the longgg and treacherous journey my plant underwent as it traveled past the Mason Dixon Line, through the Appalachian Mountains, and over the Monongahela River. You know...sensationalizing the 6 hour U-Haul trip that typically would have only been a 4 hour car ride.
3. Italy I discovered a few very important things while traveling throughout Italy (which, by the way, is an incredible country in way too many ways to mention). 1- I’m pretty sure the love of my life works at a trattoria in Florence. I don’t know his name, but our eyes met and it was categorically and absolutely Love. There is certainly something to be said for ephemeral moments. 2- I am guaranteed a spot in heaven after visiting no less than 1 million churches, chapels, basilicas, and cathedrals before even stepping foot in Vatican City. 3- With the beauty of each location comes a new addition to the infamous “Lost Items List.” Note: Pittsburgh International Airport keeps their lost and found inventory for 60 days.
4. Steelers-Vikings Game/My Birthday!!!
The Pittsburgh Steelers have celebrated a few highs and suffered through several more (very low) lows throughout the 2009 NFL Season. In my opinion, the best game of the year was the Steelers-Vikings game on October 25th (and I was there!). Of course, this being my birthday, it was already a pretty fine day in and of itself, but adding a Steelers' Victory against Brett Favre (of all people!) and the Minnesota Vikings made it near the top of my 2009 moments. It wasn’t just the win (and ability to mock Brett Favre in person) that made this day ideal; Katey Clark is THE best person to attend a Pittsburgh sporting event with, the weather was impeccable, and my hangover subsided upon entry to Heinz Field. The beauty of Keyaron Fox's game winning interception even made getting pummeled (quite literally) by self-tackling and tumbling yinzers exciting. Naturally, the 70 year old men in the row in front of us may beg to differ…
It’s also interesting to note that this game raked in the highest attendance in Heinz Field history. Nice lil' tidbit for y'all! (yinz??)
5. Implosion of the Pittsburgh Steelers
The season low was most likely the Steelers’ loss to the Cleveland Browns (though we had a few to choose from). Having been raised in the Burgh, I was brought up to despise the Browns. As a result of their pitiful circumstances for the greater part of my football watching life, however, they have ironically become the ONLY team in the AFC North that I don’t hate. With this said, I have feared a loss to them on only a few very rare occasions...One of these junctures taking place on December 10, 2009, when the defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers fell to the then 1 and 11 Cleveland Browns (13-6).
6. I LOVE HOCKEY I don't think it's necessary to expand on this point. Sometimes less is more...
(For the Record: Yes, Fleury did block the shot on the right. He is a god.)
7. Life in Pittsburgh
Life in Pittsburgh is great! Basically, I hangout with friends and drink beer. From time to time, I'll hit up a museum or go for a run, but for the most part you can find me in front of a TV watching hockey, football, or really bad tv shows about vampires. Apparently... my life hasn't changed at all.
8. The Glories of Unemployment
Sleeping all day, staying up all night, ignoring your bank account balance while spending money you don't have on lavish things (booze) you don't need(yes, I need booze!). Ignorance is bliss! Sadly though, all good things must come to an end. Now I have a job and am starting grad school- sleeping all day is a thing of the past...But the whole ignoring your bank account technique is still working out quite well for me (errrr).
9. Being an Adult I find that for the most part being a "grown-up" kind of sucks (mostly sucks), but it does have its occasional perks.... For one, you can eat ice cream for dinner any time you want, and no one can tell you otherwise. Same goes for popcorn. Also, you can do all the things that you thought you were too cool to do as a teenager...like, sled riding, dancing to Phil Collins, and eating peanut butter. Of course there are several other more obvious benefits of "legality", but these are undoubtedly amongst the best.
10. Top 10 Lists I should never commit to doing a “Top 10 List” because I can never think of a tenth item for the list…hmmm Ah well… Thanks for reading this far!
Sorry to my two, maybe three readers for going m.i.a. recently. It’s been a busy week for me; finishing up work, packing, moving, pretending to unpack, looking at all my shit, thinking about unpacking, wishing I didn’t have to unpack, moving boxes around in hopes that they will eventually unpack themselves…you know the drill. It’s hard work and such a brainless and mind numbing activity that I’m not sure I will be equipped to write anything worth reading for at least a few weeks. The good news is that I leave for Italy in the morning; so hopefully, the brain cells I’ve neglected in the past week will be sufficiently reinvigorated…that is, unless the much anticipated consumption of copious amounts of wine finishes them off. Il vino mi piace! (The latter being the more likely of the two possible results.) For those of you who wish you could fit into my suitcase, or if you actually have any interest in my travels, I will be flying into Milano, continuing onto Cinque Terre (beach!!). We will then spend some time in Florence, Tuscany and the Chianti region and will finish in Roma! I foresee having many humorous antic-dotes from my travels...and hell, if I don't, I'll make some up; so expect some updates upon my return (that is if I even make it back to the States...maybe I'll just stay. I am unemployed after all...)
Now for your listening pleasure I bring you Senor Renato Carosone...
This will be a short (yet personally satisfying) post...I simply want to declare to the blogisphere (and to all the great people out there who listened to be bitch about my crappy job for more time than I'd like to admit) that I am now OFFICIALLY unemployed! When 5 pm rolled along, I could hardly contain my excitement, and 5:31 never looked so sweet! My coworkers, who I must say are very awesome, did give me a great send off on Wednesday; consisting of a company sponsored happy hour. Naturally, I am always very appreciative of free booze, but I have to admit that I'm fairly certain, no, entirely, 100% certain, that the moment I walked out the door was the happiest moment in my professional life! I realize that soon the bank account will run dry, and the consequences of my actions will become perfectly clear, but, at this moment, unemployment feels splendid! How will I celebrate? Ice cream for dinner and booze for dessert! Oh happy day!
So I'm not gonna lie....this particular posting is most definitely a procrastination technique. It's currently 11:39 PM, and tomorrow is my last day at work!! (yessssssss!!!!) As you would expect, it just wouldn't be right if my job didn't suck until the very bitter end, so I should be doing work right now. (If you can call plugging meaningless numbers into a spreadsheet that will most likely sit on a share drive and never be looked at again "work." Or maybe that is the DEFINITION of "work.") As I'm sure you've noticed, the news has been quite interesting and incraziable lately, so I am going to take a moment to share my thoughts on a few particularly fascinating happenings around the world. I feel this will undoubtedly benefit my brain significantly more than the useless data inputting I should be doing. (Yes, I made "incraziable" up- great word, right?)
1 - G20 Summit in Pittsburgh Obviously, I have to comment on this...Being from Pittsburgh and all. I think it's pretty cool that it's taking place in my hometown and soon-to-be residing city, but I must admit it is kind of bizarre to keep hearing & seeing Pittsburgh all over the news. Also, watching the news footage has been a little unnerving. If I didn't know better, I would think it was coverage of riots in the Middle East or something. I hear most of the protests are pretty legit and peaceful. My dad actually spent last night and today handing out food to the protesters, which I think is pretty rad. It does seem, though, that there are definitely a few too many crazies out there - shattering store windows, throwing dead animals, and eating babies and stuff. (okay...maybe there hasn't been any baby eating...yet...but my point stands.) I understand why people are protesting corporations and the American banking system, but I tend to believe (more or less) that radical, destructive behavior isn't likely to help anyone's cause or help affect any kind of beneficial change. Simply put, vandalism in the City of Champions. Not cool! Where's Mean Joe Greene when you need him? Also - Throwing dead animals? Isn't this supposed to be about global economics? But at any rate, I hope all my people in the Burgh are safe and sound and aren't trapped at work or school or the Liberty Tubes or anything. And if you are, by God I pray you make it at least as far as the nearest bar. Cheers!
2 - Mackenzie Phillips had Sex with her Dad...A Lot WHAT.THE.FUCKING.FUCK!
3 - Plaxico Burress - 2 Years for Wearing Sweat Pants to a Night Club Seriously...2 years? Poor guy! As I'm sure you've noticed from my previous rants, I am quite the liberal, and I'm all for gun control, but I think 2 years is a little excessive. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he should have gotten off scotch free, but I think he got hit pretty hard; especially when considering he plead guilty to a lesser charge rather than going to trial. I also find it hard to believe that he's serving more time than Michael Vick AND Donte Stallworth, who got a DUI and killed someone in the process. I'm thinking shooting himself in the leg probably sucked quite a bit, too. (Note: I didn't even mention Ray Lewis or OJ Simpson. Oops! I just did...)
4 - Glenn Beck Boils Frogs in Failed MetaphorAttempt FOX News, you never cease to shock and horrify me. In an attempt to demonstrate a metaphor about...something stupid, Glenn Beck apparently boiled some frogs. The concept was that they were supposed to leap out of the boiling water. Now, I don't know if he ACTUALLY boiled real, living frogs, and I certainly hope he didn't, but seriously can you think of anything more ridiculous? I thiiiink this was Mr. Beck's way of inspiring his people to rise up against... ummm... fascism..orrr..communism...uhh...Health Care??? No idea... But I'm pretty sure that the frogs in the metophor represent the American People. Sooo, Glenn Beck metaphorically killed the American People?? That's just awesomely funny! OH! And apparently he slow boiled John McCain, too. What the hell? He's a war hero, damnit!
Theory: FOX News - An experiment created and maintained by the United States government to gauge how much false information can be fed to the American People before a major percentage of the population's brains shrivel to the size of raisins.
5 - (sorry! downer alert) Human Resources VP Beaten to Death in India After laying off 42 people at an auto parts company in India, an HR VP was beaten to death by a mob. This is just sad. It reminds me of how desperate the economic situation is across the world and how good we actually still have it in the US.
Oh hell! It's 1:11 AM...I guess I should do some work. Fuck! Sooo that's all for the evening, kids. As always, I hope you found something mildly entertaining and insightful.
Try asking people why they hate the Steelers. Never a good response. At least I can say I hate the Patriots because they're cheaters, and I hate the Ravens because they've killed people...hate the Steelers...why? Because they win.
I will preface by saying that I am pretty liberal, so while my intention is not to insult anyone, there is bound to be some liberal bias soon to follow. That said, feel free to stop reading here if you'd like (assuming anyone's actually reading this).
This past Saturday, in an attempt to ignore my terrible cold, I ventured into the streets of DC. Apart from my head feeling like an oversized water balloon ready to burst at any moment, it was a very lovely day. Unfortunately (for all of us), there was also one other fairly large problem. The streets were swarming with what I will refer to as Tea Partiers. This brings us to “Things I will Miss About DC” #2: The Protests.
I’m not entirely sure why I’ll miss them. They cause traffic and confusion in the city, not to mention the Metro. I very rarely encounter them and have only ever attended one by accident. Even then, I was mostly just an onlooker. Regardless, they help pull me out of the pit of apathy where I so often find myself (being a twenty something living in post-Bush America). Also, they can be pretty funny. Loooooots of characters…
As I wandered through DC on Saturday, my friend and I found ourselves knee deep in a protest on Capitol Hill and the Mall organized by the Tea Party Movement, which opposes President Obama’s Health Care Reform. [Note: I have made an honest effort to learn about the various bills in Congress, but it hasn’t been easy. I can’t imagine that with the constant misinformation and fear mongering being spread across the country it’s easy for the average American to become truly informed on this issue at all. Factcheck.org helps dispel some myths though – I have included a link. Take a look.] My intention is not to get into a health care debate, and make no mistake; I have absolutely no doubt that, while I did not see any, there must have been a few very intelligent and well informed people at this gathering. I did, however, encounter several people who can only be described as stupid. I would try to come up with a more descriptive adjective, but it would be wasted on these people. And unfortunately in this country, stupid people are very opinionated...and loud. The more I walked through the crowds, the more I realized how helpful a quick lesson from my 6th grade Social Studies teacher, Miss Blanning, would be. I will not be making any actual attempt to contact Miss Blanning, but I will take a moment to cite Mr. Webster and define for us all the below terms.
so·cial·ism Pronunciation: \ˈsō-shə-ˌli-zəm\ 1 : any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods2 a : a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b : a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state3 : a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work done
fas·cism Pronunciation: \ˈfa-ˌshi-zəm also ˈfa-ˌsi-\ 1 often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition2 : a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control
com·mu·nism Pronunciation: \ˈkäm-yə-ˌni-zəm, -yü-\ 1 a : a theory advocating elimination of private property b : a system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed2 capitalized a : a doctrine based on revolutionary Marxian socialism and Marxism-Leninism that was the official ideology of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics b : a totalitarian system of government in which a single authoritarian party controls state-owned means of production c : a final stage of society in Marxist theory in which the state has withered away and economic goods are distributed equitably Czar Variant(s): also tsar or tzar \ˈzär, ˈ(t)sär\ 1 : emperor; specifically : the ruler of Russia until the 1917 revolution 2 : one having great power or authority
My initial intention was to stop at the definitions and let everyone figure my point out on their own, but after watching the above video I got a little fired up; so I’m going to take an extra minute to give my two cents regarding this little Social Studies lesson. Unless things have changed significantly since last November, I’m pretty sure Obama was elected by a rather large majority. Sorry, if you were on the ass end of that stick, America. I know how it feels; I was there for 8 years. Also, seeing as he’s not Russian, I’m thinking it’s nearly impossible for him to actually be a Czar. (At least, I don’t thiiink he’s Russian…ask Ann Coulter. She’ll know for sure. Or Sarah Palin, since she can see Russia from her house.) In regards to the health care bills in committee, they do not eliminate the private option and do not create a fully government funded option either; so whether you agree with them or not, you reallycan’t call them socialist bills, can you? Don’t get me wrong, if we could, I’d totally be into it. Although, Medicare IS fully funded and administrated by the goverment, so I guess every president since Harry Truman has been a socialist. As for calling Obama a fascist…c’mon. I think Mr. President likes his private property just as much as the next person. And let’s not fool ourselves…If he were a fascist, especially when considering his majority support in Congress, I don’t think my friend’s Labradoodle would even be allowed to march on Washington without major consequences. I find it so interesting that even after the Census Bureau's report on the failure of the Bush Administration, people are still so incredibly petrified by the thought of change.
My proposal to the American People - Let's be real for a tiny second and calm the fuck down. Stop getting your information from Rush Limbaugh and Fox News; instead, try reading a book. And for christ's sake, stop calling Obama a Czar or Emperor, King…whatever. We all know there’s only one King in American and that’s Jesus.
(Oh! One last thing…lay off the Joker. He's too good for politics.)
Remember when we all found out that the Patriots are cheaters and we finally had a legit reason to hate them? Well, this is exactly how I feel about Serena Williams’ loss today at the US Open. I have never liked Serena, and I have never rooted for her. I have always found her pompous yet somehow classless at the same time. I realize it’s impossible to dispute her incredible athleticism and she’s unarguably among the best tennis players in the world. I think she’s a little schmanly, but she’s clearly in great shape and Playboy wanted her picture so someone out there must find her pretty attractive. I’ll go ahead and dive into the deep end and even say that she has a nice, cheery smile, but the general brazen attitude of the entire Williams family has always rubbed me the wrong way.
For full discloser, I have spent 21 of my nearly 26 years playing tennis and was raised by a tennis pro. This being the case, it will come to no one’s surprised that I have encountered more than my fair share of snobby and confident tennis players. While, tennis and snobbery go hand in hand, and well, confidence is a must if you intend to be among the best in any sport, Serena takes both to a new level. To better make my point, I will have to redefine the word “snobbery” in Williams’ terms, which is quite different than that defined by…saaayyy Roger Federer. Roger makes it clear you know he’s better than you. I would describe his arrogance in a more classical sense. Even his serve has an air of pretension, and his graciousness is enough to make you puke. Serena on the other hand, displays her egotism by filming reality T.V. shows, buying crappy football teams, and blaming losses on injuries and stupid mistakes. God FORBID her opponent actually outplays her!
(Note: I do not dislike Roger Federer. I just thought the comparison would help make my point. He’s the best player in tennis, and to be honest, his nauseating courteousness after a match does seem pretty genuine (even if it does result in some minor gagging). He is pretty snooty though. I mean - he's Swiss…)
On to the issue at hand…[If you didn’t see/hear/read about Serena Williams typical display of sportsmanship during her semifinals match at the US Open, here’s the short story short. Down 15-30 and 5-6 after losing the 1st set, Serena was essentially 2 points away from losing the match. At this point, she is called for a foot fault on her 2nd serve, and is now just 1 point away from losing the match. In her defense, looked like a bogus call, but in classic Serena fashion, she loses control and starts yelling at the line judge. She allegedly says, “If I could, I would take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat and kill you.” Who knows what she really said, but her gestures were enough to warrant a penalty. Because she had been issued a warning after losing the first set for slamming her racquet against the ground, her second penalty resulted in a point to Clijsters, which, combined with her foot fault (bad call or not), ended the match. Williams was also later fined $10,500]
In my eyes, this behavior devalues your opponent’s win. It says “you did not win this point” “you did not win this match” “I fucked up!” “I lost it!” In other words “fuck you.” Sure, this happens in sports, we’ve all seen it, just ask a Mets fan. But the fact is, no one shows up to play Serena Williams hoping she’s going to fuck up and “let you win.” Kim Clijsters played an amazing match and deserved to win, but in the end, it’s a win with an asterisks. Is that fair? I dare say not.
To be honest, in my opinion it was inevitable that Serena was going to lose the match. She was clearly losing focus, and Clijsters was playing phenomenally. Serena knew this, consciously or not, and this is probably why she lost it on the court in the first place. Regardless, Serena has trained harder, longer and to a completely different level than I ever did growing up, and if I had ever behaved this way I would still be running laps as punishment. That said, the match wasn't actually over yet. Had she just shut her trap and served the ball, maybe she could have won... And more importantly, had she made it to the finals and won the Open she would have tied Billie Jean King’s Grand Slam title record. Does this make her even more brainless for flipping out? I think so; but needless to say, I'm happy to see Billie Jean retain her title. Especially if the alternative is sharing it with Serena.
So my words to Serena: No excuses! Next time, try losing with a little maturity and class. I do not care if you have 11 singles Grand Slam titles. I don’t really care about your Olympic gold medals. And you know what!? I don’t even care that you own the Miami Dolphins! There are NO excuses for acting like petulant child! I watch hockey for the death threats, tennis for the cute, furry, green balls.
1- Steelers Games at the Pour House Now say what you will about Steelers fans, but as bias as I am, I can't think of a better group of people to experience our recent good fortune. I realize that a lot of people don't like us (places like the Pour House don't help our reputation), and truthfully, I can't blame them. I'd like to think a lot of it is jealousy, but (as a Pittsburgher I can say this) - we're spoiled. Simply put. With two Lombardi trophies and a Stanley Cup in just three years, being named America's Most Livable City (again), and being chosen as the host of this year's G20 Summit, the only thing keeping Pittsburgh grounded nowadays are the Pittsburgh Pirates. That said, even the Pirates have a somewhat desirable history. Personally, I cannot stand to watch an entire baseball game, and honestly, I don't know many people who can, so I am perfectly content focusing on football for the Fall.
This brings me to why I will miss Steelers Games at the Pour House. As the season opener coverage began on Thursday night, it wasn't the mediocre performances by the Black Eyed Peas and TIm McGraw (that I only tolerated because football was soon to follow), it was the vision the self proclaimed City of Champions that made me so happy. As I told many throughout the night, I had almost forgotten how much I love football. That is...until I saw the fireworks over Heinz Field and my team (that I have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with) run on onto the field. I miss Pittsburgh (obviously since I am moving there in just 3 weeks) and for me, over the past 7 years, the Pour House has been as close to the Burgh as I could get; as close to home as I could get. (yes, I fully admit I am apparently painfully corny and ridiculously sentimental. If I ever claim to be otherwise I fully permit you to punch me in the face.)
Pittsburgh in DC. The scene on Pennsylvania Avenue in Capitol Hill on game day is one that could make even the biggest Pittsburgh cynic just a little bit envious. For hours leading up to the game, Steelers fans flock up and down the street to secure their spot at this otherwise very ordinary bar. Among my friends, it’s the talk of the week. The person who gets there first to commandeer space, is in a very real sense considered a hero. It truly is a little piece of my home town in what I consider to be a very impersonal and arrogant city. I half expect the theme song from Cheers to be playing when I walk in the door. Thank God it never is, but there are more god damn Steelers songs than you can even imagine, and at the Pour House they play each and every one of them throughout the night. I hear the bar isn’t even owned by Pittsburghers anymore, but you wouldn’t know it, because Pittsburgh ex-pats continue to gather there game after game, year after year. There are Steelers championship pennants and flags everywhere and the freaking stairs are even black and gold. The stairs!! I don’t particularly LOVE their pierogies, but for Christ sakes, they have pierogies on the menu. How can you NOT order them?
(Note: Naturally, this year the Cup is in attendance as well. And by "The Cup" I of course mean a replica created by my dear friends at the Pour House after Game 7 of the SCFs. Some may call it obnoxious, I call it the culmination of my life [dramatic much??])
Saving the World. On week night games, one of the best parts of the Pour House are the unknowing staffers and interns from the Hill stumbling into what I deemed earlier as a seemingly “ordinary bar.” These poor people just spent a good 10 hours, working for pennies with the simple intention to save the world (whatever that means). All they want is a god damn beer. What do they get? Borderline psychotic Steelers fanatics screaming in their faces... I may not be a Raiders fan or even an Eagles fan, so I’d like to think I’m nicer than some, but you better believe that if you walk into MY bar on game day without your Steelers gear on, EVEN if you ARE saving the world (or doing God knows what else on Capitol Hill) and even if it is YOUR bar every other day of the week, I don’t want you there. By the end of the first half, these people are by far the drunkest in the bar. Some may leave after the first few minutes of the game, but many stay, because honestly it’s like train wreck. Watching football fans in their element may cause severe intoxication, but it’s certainly something that very few can pass up.
The People. It’s not just about the crowds. Pittsburgh is a small town, and it’s great to remember that when you’re stuck in the masses of a forever transient metropolis. During the course of the game, it is inevitable that you will meet at least a half dozen new people who will soon consider you among their nearest and dearest. When you show up next week or even next year, they’ll be waiting for you; beer in hand, saving you a spot– because after all, you did just almost experience the heart break of a century together. And let’s be honest there are few things better than quickly locking arms with the stranger next to you as the Pittsburgh Polka is blasted throughout the bar after a Steelers victory. And then of course there is the “You Smell Like…Lady." You know who I’m talking about. Every sports bar has this person. The person who goes around calling the plays. They each have their perfect line, and the dance they do when they’re right. Sure, 9 out of 10 times they’re going to be wrong, but that one time they get it right makes up for the other 9 ten fold. Why? Because it makes them the Bar Oracle, the person who has a direct ear with the football gods. The Pour House, in particular, has this woman. She comes up to you and smells you. She literally fucking smells you and then says sternly and intently “You know what you smell like?” “What (crazy lady)?” “You smell like an interception!” And you know what, last night after she said that, hell yes Troy Polamalu got a fucking interception! I love this woman because she reminds me of why I love sports. She takes a chance every time; knowing sometimes (usually even) she'll be wrong, she'll lose, but she'll eventually get it right, and everyone loves her for it. She reminds me that there's something to be said for losing. Losing is what make's winning feel so incredible! And the fear of losing is what makes sports fans love every minute of every game. (Can’t lie…the 6 Lombardi Trophies don’t hurt either)
Conclusion. I will conclude by acknowledging two specific points. 1 - I am moving to Pittsburgh where I will be more than sufficiently saturated in Steelers Football; and 2- The Pour House has it’s draw backs – the bathroom floods, and you can’t get a normal sized Diet Coke to save your life - but regardless I will miss my little piece of Pittsburgh in DC. After all, why would anyone want a Diet Coke during a football game anyway???
If you made it all the way through to the end, I thank you, and I hope I didn’t bore you too terribly.
Lebanon/Dormont establishment. Stop by for a Dos Equis Mexican Cervesa (con queso!)
