Killer Pollen!!!

I’ve realized that, no matter how many times I’ve said it myself today, “I’m hoping it’s just allergies and not a cold” has got to be one of the most annoying, nonsensical, and irritating phrases in the English language. If you spend your entire day feeling like total shit, does it really matter whether you have a cold or if the pollen count is just slightly higher than your body can take? Either way, you feel crappy and no drug no legal drug is going to change that. In fact, I have no doubt that the makers of Benadryl and Dayquil spend each March - June aboard nauseatingly colossal yachts, secretly laughing at us all for funding their villas in St. Maarten. With this said, Spring does tend to be a rather confusing time of year. It’s cold season, yet the pollen count is out of control. Naturally, this leads me to wonder if it’s possible that cold germs may have actually joined forces with the pollen kingdom to attack the human race (which coincidently is the subject of James Cameron's next epic blockbuster). If this theory does eventually prove true, it will support my long time belief that I am indeed allergic to EVERYTHING. Now…of course this is TREE pollen I’m talking about. I’m sure that as soon as the tree pollen has sufficiently mutilated my sinuses, the grass variety will be more than happy to take its place – followed by weeds of course, and undoubtedly the flowers will have their way with me as well.

So basically, I’ve spent the greater part of the past few weeks hoping I didn’t have a cold, but suffering through itchy eyes, a sore throat, constant sneezing, inability to breath, and a stuffy nose. I really just want to feel like a human again - cold no cold, allergies no allergies- but either way, don't forget - noses in need deserve Puffs indeed!

(I know you're all relieved I didn't bring up my neti pot...)